You can't fight Love
by BMShipper
Summary: Set directely after the "elevator scene" between Jackson and Mark in 8x16 so you should have seen it to make a sense out of it. Jackson thought Mark knew him, but obviously he didn't and he misunderstood his behaviour completely... M Rating for later...
1. Chapter 1

**A:N: So… lots of people asked me – literally begged me – to write something longer for Mark/Jackson and well… here I am trying… The last episode inspired me a lot and there is this idea in my head… and I just hope, I can put it into words… my only "problem" right now is, that I have so much real life stress and so much to do at work (doing a lot of overtime), so bear with me if the parts take a little time… it's not because I don't want to, but because I'm pretty busy… but I love Mark and Jackson SO much that I wanna do this ;-) And I hope, you like the start…**

**Review, if you want me to go on writing with that, also, if you think the beginning sucked, okay? Because I don't have to go on writing if neither of you likes that ;-) But I hope, you'll enjoy…**

**The story starts after the "elevator scene" in 8x16, so you should probably have seen them to make a sense of it!**

**PS: There is actually a song called "Can't fight love" by "The411" and when I heard it, it immediately inspired me to write this story, because it couldn't be more perfect for Mark and Jackson from Jackson's POV ;-) If you have the chance, listen to it, it's even on Youtube =)**

**You can't fight Love**

**1st Chapter: See i'm the one that loves you…**

Once the door of his room fell shut after him, Jackson leaned against it, letting out a heavy sigh. He had really thought, Mark knew him after all these months they were hanging out now, but he was wrong, oh so wrong. Their little accidental meeting in the elevator said it all. Mark had truly tried to hook him up with some stranger, someone he didn't even know himself, and even though Jackson had tried to hide it; that had really hurt. And it still did.

He had really wanted to tell Mark the truth about everything, about his feelings, but in the end he had showed the white feather and backed away. He had said good-bye and left Mark in the elevator and literally ran away.

_Of course_ Mark must now think he was still in love with Lexie but he truly wasn't. In fact he was in love with someone else, but she definitely played a big part in this whole story. She had made him realize what was wrong with him when she had joined him and Mark for dinner at Valentine's Day. The whole time he had felt some kind of jealousy whenever Mark had touched her or the other way around, and the way Lexie had looked at Mark had almost made him sick, but he was able to pull himself together and made it through the whole awkwardness of the evening. Until Lexie had left and he had been alone with Mark again. They had studied the whole night until they had fallen asleep on the couch together and when he had woken up in Mark's arms the next day, pressed close to his chest, it had hit him. The whole time he had thought he had been jealous of Mark but in fact it had been Lexie he had been jealous of. And the way Mark had looked at her sometimes. He would have given everything to get a look like that.

At first he had thought he was just overworked, he had tried to put the blame on all the hours he had spent with Mark, but then he had this dream – a sexual one – and wasn't able to ignore the facts any longer; he felt attracted to Mark. For the first time in his life he had some feelings for another man and not any other man but Mark. And that was the reason he wasn't interested in sex with a woman right now. Not as long as he hadn't sorted out those feelings.

He had definitely wanted to talk to Mark about everything in the elevator. He had been pretty close to confess everything, until Mark had assumed he was still into Lexie and every bravery he might have had left had vanished with a single breath. And maybe it was for the best. God knows how much he could and would have destroyed with an avowal like that and he definitely didn't want to lose Mark as a friend, but he also didn't know how to deal with him any longer. Not as long as he felt the way he did. Those irrational feelings still confused him and scared the hell out of him, and maybe it was just a phase after all. At least that was what he tried to convince himself of, even though he knew deep down that it wasn't true, and that this was something special, something big.

But instead Mark was still in love with Lexie, and not him, and he would never return his feelings. If Jackson hadn't been sure about that before, he definitely was now. After all Mark had done today it was clear as mud that he had no problem with Jackson sleeping with some random chick, on the contrary he even wanted him to.

When Mark had started his whole 'You need to get laid-mission' Jackson had secretly hoped that at some point he would consider helping him or offering him sex, and Jackson would have taken the offer without any second thought, but of course that hadn't happened. Jackson had thought that maybe, just _maybe_, there was something going on between them and that Mark felt it, too, but he had fooled himself.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a very loud knock on his door which made him jump aside, because he had still been pressed to said door with his back. Who the hell dared to bother him _now_? Hadn't his day been hard enough? Doubtful he stared at the door, taking a few seconds before mumbling "What?" sounding just as annoyed as he felt. He just wanted to take a hot, long shower and go to bed to mentally prepare for tomorrow since he would have to face Mark again and needed to be strong.

"Come on, Jackson, open the door. It's me, Mark," Mark's voice came from outside the room, causing Jackson to hold his breath in shock.

Hesitantly he took a step towards the door and grabbed the doorknob.

"What do you want? Is something wrong?" he asked after a few seconds, still staring at the closed door.

"Damn right something's wrong. Would you please let me in now or do I have to shout it through the whole house?" Mark asked and he sounded annoyed himself by now.

"Doesn't matter since no one's here," Jackson replied, but opened the door anyways and leaned against the doorframe. "What are you doing here?"

Mark fumbled with the hem of his black shirt, looking slightly nervous when he lifted his head and looked into his eyes. "I wanted to apologize."

"Apologize?" Jackson asked, raising an eyebrow. "What for?"

"I crossed a line when I tried to get you laid today, and I know that by now. I shouldn't have literally forced you to have sex and talk to Kepner behind your back," Mark answered.

Jackson's mouth fell open and he stared at Mark in disbelief. "You did _what_?" He knew Mark could be pretty ambitious when he wanted to reach his goals but he couldn't quite process that he had even tried to get April to have sex with him.

"I said I'm sorry. Really. This is none of my business and I shouldn't have tried to interfere," Mark repeated his apology, but at that very moment his words didn't reach Jackson. Instead he felt incredibly mad all of a sudden.

"You know what? Save it. You have no idea what I want or what I need, and even though I thought differently; you don't really know me," he blurted out, trying to slam the door in Mark's face, but Mark's foot in the doorstep kept him from shutting it completely.

"Leave me the fuck alone, okay? Go!"

"No, I won't. Not before we've talked," Mark insisted, not backing away a millimetre.

"I don't wanna talk. Back off!" Jackson almost screamed, leaning against the door and trying once more to get it shut and this time Mark finally gave in and pulled back his foot.

"I understand that you're angry, and I'm really sorry that because of me some old feelings for Lexie bubbled up again, but I'm your friend and I wanna be there for you," Jackson heard Mark say and even though he stepped back from the door, he obviously didn't want to leave for good. "You could have told me that you still have feelings for her and I would have sent her away the other day."

"You said it yourself, it's none of your business, so could you please just leave me alone now? Tomorrow's gonna be a hard day and I have to be well-rested," Jackson replied, just hoping he would get rid of Mark soon. The situation was already bad enough and he didn't need Mark to see him like that.

"Okay," Mark finally said. "Fine. I'll go. But don't think you're off the hook. We're gonna talk about this eventually. Have a good night."

Jackson turned around and pressed his ear against the door, listening to the fading away footsteps until he heard a door open and then close again. He let out a relieved sigh. Finally. For a moment he thought Mark might decide to keep standing in front of his door until he was willing to talk to him, but he was safe. For now. He knew he would have to deal with Mark the next day unless he found a reason to avoid him, but that would most likely be very difficult since he was working under his service.

Maybe he should consider working under someone else's service for a while, even though he couldn't imagine doing anything else than plastics in the long run. But he also couldn't imagine seeing Mark day by day, working with him for several hours every day and not acting on his feelings at some point. It was already bad enough that they were there in the first place, so taking a break might be _the_ solution for him. Just as long as he had those kind of feelings for Mark. Maybe they would fade away by themselves then and they could go back to being friends like they had been for months. They just had to.


	2. This might end our friendship

**A/N: I'm sorry it took me a while to finish Chapter two, but real life was keeping me REALLY busy… You have NO idea how happy your feedback makes me, and I'm so glad you all like my story SO much… I didn't expect SO many comments – so thank you! You all inspire me so much! I hope, you keep telling me whether you like the story or not! And if I should still go on writing ;-)**

**Chapter 2: This might end our friendship…**

Mark lay in his bed and tried to get some sleep, but had no such luck. He had to get back to hospital to perform a long surgery and all he could think of right now was the look on Jackson's face right before he had tried to slam the door in his face. Jackson had been mad, furious even, which was almost understandable considering how much Mark had tried to interfere with his life, but that wasn't all Mark had seen in his eyes. There had been pain. Pain and disappointment and Mark didn't quite understand why his friend would be hurt by his actions.

Mark had wanted to help him and he had never meant to almost destroy their friendship, but at the moment, it looked like Jackson wouldn't forgive him that easily. If Mark had just known Jackson was still in love with Lexie, he wouldn't have tried to hook him up with some random chick. Why hadn't he noticed anything? Was he really _that_ blind? _That_ unobservant?

A lot of things made sense now. For example, their dinner on Valentine's Day when Lexie had shown up at Mark's doorstep. The whole evening had just been awkward from the moment Mark had invited Lexie in and there had been some tension in the air the whole time. Jackson had most likely been jealous and Mark hadn't even noticed. He was such an idiot. How could he have let Jackson down like that? Jackson had needed him as a friend and he had been too blind to see.

Mark sat up, sighing. He had to make it up to Jackson. He had to do something to prove him how important he was to Mark. They were a good team and Jackson showed him day after day that he could be a good teacher, and that he had fun in teaching someone. Before Jackson, he hadn't even considered taking a resident under his wing, but Jackson had totally changed his point of view, and Mark didn't want things to end between them.

He fell back onto the mattress and closed his eyes. Everything would be fine and maybe tomorrow Jackson would have already forgiven him. He couldn't be mad at him forever, right? At least that was the small hope Mark felt within him before he finally dozed off.

…

When Mark was woken up the next morning by the sound of his alarm clock, he felt disorientated and confused for a moment. He hadn't gotten much sleep at all, and Jackson had clouded his thoughts the whole night. Mark just couldn't get their stupid fight out of his mind, and he just wanted to make up with Jackson so they could both move on and get back to being friends again. He hated the way things ended last night and he didn't want it to stand between them, between their work. He had never had a workmate like Jackson, someone who understood him without words, someone he could talk to about everything and he almost needed him in is life.

He got up from the bed and shuffled to his bathroom. He got rid of his shorts and took a quick shower before he got dressed and grabbed his car key. If he left earlier than usual, he might have a chance to talk to Jackson before the big surgery. He didn't know if he could concentrate on operating if he didn't clear the air prior to that, and if Jackson maybe felt like him, he wouldn't either, and that wasn't a good position to enter the OR.

He left his apartment and got into his car and less then ten minutes later, he arrived at Seattle Grace Mercy West. He got into the elevator and pressed the button with the big '10' on it and when he heard the ringing sound, he got out and immediately started looking for Jackson. His eyes darted around the corridor, but apart from a few nurses, there was no one else in the nearby. Maybe the younger resident was in the locker room to get dressed?

For a moment, Mark hesitated. He didn't want to bother Jackson, since he would see him soon anyways, but he just couldn't help himself. Before he even realized it himself, his feet were already moving towards the locker room. With a knock on the door, he entered said locker room, only to find a shirtless Karev standing in front of his locker and obviously digging for a shirt.

When Karev turned around, he looked at Mark, surprised. "What are _you_ doing here? Don't you have your own locker room?"

Nervously Mark scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, of course, but I'm looking for Avery. Have you seen him?"

A grin appeared on Karev's lips. "Why would _I_ know? He's _your_ boyfriend, not mine."

Mark stared at the younger doctor for a moment before he crossed his arms over his chest. "He's not my boyfriend."

Karev's grin grew wider. "He's not? But you're literally glued to each other. It's like you're only available together."

"Because he's my student. And he's on my service," Mark explained.

Karev waved dismissively. "Whatever." He turned around, grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head.

Annoyed, Mark rolled his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. "Have you seen him or not?"

Now it was Karev's turn to roll his eyes. "No, I haven't. Satisfied now?"

Without an answer Mark turned around and left the room in direction of the resident's recreation room. He knocked and entered the room without waiting for an answer, and this time it was Kepner he found. When she saw him, she smiled at him sympathetically – almost as if she knew something, but since she was Avery's best friend, maybe she did.

"Doctor Sloan! Can I help you?" she asked in an almost too sweet tone.

Mark felt as if there was something very wrong there, but he tried to shake those thoughts away and looked at Kepner.

"Have you seen Avery? I have to talk to him and it's really important," he replied impatiently, because it already drove him crazy that he hadn't found Jackson yet.

"Not since an hour ago when we arrived here together. He said he had to deal with something and then he left," the chief resident answered.

Mark raised an eyebrow. "Deal with something…" he repeated, taking a step towards April. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Kepner looked at him for a second, turning away immediately, and Mark could tell that she knew more than she said.

"Come on, Kepner. What's wrong?" he demanded to know and went on talking without taking a breath in between. "If it's because of this stupid thing I asked you, I really wanna apologize to him, so tell me where he is."

Kepner let out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry, I can't. I promised Jackson not to say anything."

Slowly but surely Mark was losing his patience. "Say anything about what?" he asked aggressively, causing the younger doctor to wince. Mark still could see only her back, but a few seconds later she turned around.

"Promise me you won't tell him that I told you," Kepner said.

"Tell me what?" Mark wanted to know.

"Promise me!" Kepner replied even louder than before and Mark was almost surprised about how dominant she became all of a sudden.

"Okay, okay. Calm down. I promise," he answered, knowing that there wouldn't be any other chance to find out what was happening. "And if you would now have the decency to tell me where he is so I can find him and talk to him,_ please_!"

Kepner leaned against her desk. "Alright. He's at Doctor Hunt's office," she blurted out.

Mark looked at her surprised. "What would he do there?" Confusion clouded his mind. He couldn't remember seeing Avery and Hunt talk to each other for longer than one minute ever, and now he was in his office?

"He wanted to talk to him so Doctor Hunt could get him off of your service," Kepner went on, again having this sympathetic look in her eyes.

Mark's jaw dropped. "What? That… that can't be true… I mean… no…" Mark stuttered, feeling pretty weak all of a sudden. It was like someone had punched him in the gut and he needed a moment to process. "Why would he do that?"

"I'm really sorry, Doctor Sloan," Mark heard April say, feeling her hand on his shoulder, but he shook it off and took a step back.

"Just because of this stupid fight?" He couldn't believe what was happening and that Jackson would leave him like that. Without any word. Without talking to him first. It disappointed him. Was he so wrong about Jackson, about their friendship? He had assumed he was as important to Jackson as the other way around but obviously he was mistaken.

"I really tried to talk him out of this, you have to believe me. I told him it would only be fair to let you know that he wants to be off of your service himself, but he wouldn't listen," April explained, but Mark could barely hear her words. He felt like he was in a haze and literally stumbled out of the recreation room, only to lean against the wall once he was in the hallway.

He took a few deep breathes and ran one of his hands through his blond hair. What had he done? Was that really it? Was his friendship with Avery over because of one silly mistake? Just because he had crossed a line he shouldn't have crossed?

Mark knew he had to talk to Jackson eventually, but maybe he should give him a day or two. Maybe Jackson would come back by himself because he missed him. Maybe. He knew he would definitely miss him and he couldn't even imagine performing this surgery in about an hour, but he had no other choice.

Slowly he moved towards the bathroom to throw some cold water into his face.

He could do that surgery, he just had to. Especially since it wasn't his patient's fault that he got in a fight with Jackson, it was his own. He couldn't imagine working without Avery for more than a day though, but maybe he had to figure out a way to do so. Especially if Jackson never talked to him again. That was something he had to expect after everything Kepner had just said, as heartbreaking as it felt.

He grabbed a towel and dried his face before leaving the bathroom to get to the doctor's locker room to get dressed for his rounds. He had to check on his patient at least once more before the surgery and assure her once more – like he did a hundred times before – that everything would be fine and he would do everything he could to not leave any scars, because he was convinced he could do it. Because he was _that_ good – even without Avery.


End file.
